My Grandmothers' Feminism

I want to be like my grandmothers. (Hold the "ah-has" conservatives, I'm not done.) My two grandmothers were truly the same women in many ways. They both held careers, raised two kids and maintained a well-run home. Now, in my paternal grandma's home, the father was very old-school as far as a man doing housework. He was a good man in many ways, but he still held some of the old beliefs. Despite this, she was still a strong, intelligent, hard-working woman who commanded respect from everyone.
My maternal grandmother, likewise, was a career woman. She was married with two children and maintained a house. However, there was equal housework between husband and wife. He had a honey-do list as long as hers and was just as accountable for the care and keeping. There was also, as my mother has said, none of that "wait til your father gets home" business. There was the equal fear of god from both parents. The truly stunning thing is that my grandmother had something amazing she did for herself. She saved money all year and once a year she went to Hawaii with her best friend. JUST her best friend. No husband, no kids. People hear that and recoil in horror, accusing her of everything from neglect to adultery. How absurd! She just wanted some "me" time. She understood, even back then, that the woman does not have to disappear behind husband and kids. Once a year, she was selfish and did for just herself. In exchange for this week of neglect, her children lived a fine upper middle class life and were loved dearly. To this day, they speak only of love for their mother and what a great mom she was. (Given the chance, I'm sure my mother would have done the same.)

These are the women I want to be. I want to be educated and work for my living. I want to travel and experience the world for myself. I also want to maintain a house and do all those little domestic things I've grown to enjoy (I'm a cooking fiend). IF I ever chose to have kids, I will want to be a great mother and always be there for them. HOWEVER, I will do it with a man who respects me, pulls his weight, and truly loves me.

"Good luck" you scoff? I have fantastic luck, because I've already found that man. Unlike the stereotypical career women who find themselves alone at thirty and must be tamed, I have found that I can have both! (What a shock!) And now, I'm off to work, just like Grandma!